Funny and hilarious Facebook statuses and messages, guaranteed to make you laugh until tears run down your legs! If you need to get funny Facebook status so, now you can get them here very easily. You can also say Good Morning in the most funny way possible, check our huge collection of best funny and hilarious Good Morning Memes.
Hi, I'm James, let's bond.
-----
Why bother reading books? We have Eminem he can read a whole story in 4 minutes.
-----
If something's not going right, try left.
-----
Wife: I'm pregnant, what do you want it to be? Husband: A joke.
-----
Everyone is normal until you add them as your Facebook friend.
-----
Relationship Status: COMING SOON
-----
Back in 5 minutes (If not, read this status again).
-----
Looking at school books and thinking - What a waste of a tree!
-----
Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon.
-----
Friends are like boobs... Some are real some are fake.
-----
I forgot to work out today. That's 5 years in a row!
-----
Stop calling yourself hot, the only thing you turn on is the microwave!
-----
I don't have goals. Goals are for soccer. I'm not soccer.
-----
The hardest things our kids will do in 20-30 years is finding a username which isn't already taken.
-----
Aren't we ALL internet explorers?
-----
Me without you is like Facebook with no friends, YouTube with no videos, and Google with no results.
-----
I'm following you on Facebook because my mum always told me to follow my dreams.
-----
If someone says "I love you", and you don't feel the same way, just say "I love YouTube" really fast.
-----
If you're talking behind my back, you're in a really good position to kiss my butt.
-----
Lucky for you mirrors can't laugh out loud.
-----
I'm pretty sure you're not a car; get an actual photo for your profile.
-----
Unicorns do exist. They're just fat and grey and we call them Rhinos.
-----
I grew up being told not to write on the walls. Felt like such a badass when I first joined Facebook.
-----
Fact: if there are two girls in someone’s profile picture, the profile belongs to the uglier one.
-----
Brighten the whole day of your friends by posting the most hilarious and funny Facebook status and tagging them in it. Enjoy the day with funny status and be a reason of everyone’s smile. Make your friends smile by sharing funny messages. Get the best ones from our site that matches your sense of humor.
I may be fat, but you’re ugly – I can lose weight!
-----
How can I say we got freedom when we tied the chain with glass on the public water cooler? We just got the separate piece of land not freedom.
-----
Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who cannot be handled by his parents anymore.
-----
Time to train for my favorite winter sport. Extreme Hibernation…
-----
I try to find the good in every situation. Wait. That was a typo. I meant “food.” I try to find the food in every situation.
-----
Teacher -“Where is the CAPITAL of our COUNTRY???” Student -“in Swiss Banks” lolls.
-----
My week is basically …Monday–>Monday#2–>Monday#3–>Monday#4–>Friday–>Saturday–>pre-Monday.
-----
At last got to know how to lose weight in 10 days: Just turn your head right then left and repeat whenever offered any food :) :)
-----
Typing…
-----
My heart is stolen…can I check your bra…….
-----
I Have Good News And Bad News To Tell You. The Bad News? I Have No Good News. And The Good News? I Have No Bad News.
-----
Open Books, Not Legs. Blow Minds, Not Guys!
-----
A man asks a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that beautiful girl, which machine I can use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”!
-----
Life is Short – Chat Fast!
-----
Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook!
-----
Save water, drink beer!
-----
Girls, if he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs. Send him to KFC.
-----
Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status?
-----
When I’m a Pedestrian I Hate cars... When I’m Driving I Hate Pedestrians…
-----
Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.
-----
Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if its wide use three fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep, that’s how you wash a cup.
-----
I’m Jealous of My Parents… I’ll Never Have a Kid as Cool as Theirs!
-----
Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.
-----
People call me mike... You can call me tonight... :p
-----
Checking your symptoms on Google and accepting that fact that you’re going to die.
-----
We are WTF generation …. WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook :D
-----
Funny quotes for Facebook status with images
Hi, I'm James, let's bond.
-----
Why bother reading books? We have Eminem he can read a whole story in 4 minutes.
-----
If something's not going right, try left.
-----
Wife: I'm pregnant, what do you want it to be? Husband: A joke.
-----
Everyone is normal until you add them as your Facebook friend.
-----
Relationship Status: COMING SOON
-----
Back in 5 minutes (If not, read this status again).
-----
Looking at school books and thinking - What a waste of a tree!
-----
Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon.
-----
Friends are like boobs... Some are real some are fake.
-----
I forgot to work out today. That's 5 years in a row!
-----
Stop calling yourself hot, the only thing you turn on is the microwave!
-----
I don't have goals. Goals are for soccer. I'm not soccer.
-----
The hardest things our kids will do in 20-30 years is finding a username which isn't already taken.
-----
Aren't we ALL internet explorers?
-----
Me without you is like Facebook with no friends, YouTube with no videos, and Google with no results.
-----
I'm following you on Facebook because my mum always told me to follow my dreams.
-----
If someone says "I love you", and you don't feel the same way, just say "I love YouTube" really fast.
-----
Funny Facebook quotes that will get likes
If you're talking behind my back, you're in a really good position to kiss my butt.
-----
Lucky for you mirrors can't laugh out loud.
-----
I'm pretty sure you're not a car; get an actual photo for your profile.
-----
Unicorns do exist. They're just fat and grey and we call them Rhinos.
-----
I grew up being told not to write on the walls. Felt like such a badass when I first joined Facebook.
-----
Fact: if there are two girls in someone’s profile picture, the profile belongs to the uglier one.
-----
Funny Facebook statuses that will get comments
Brighten the whole day of your friends by posting the most hilarious and funny Facebook status and tagging them in it. Enjoy the day with funny status and be a reason of everyone’s smile. Make your friends smile by sharing funny messages. Get the best ones from our site that matches your sense of humor.
I may be fat, but you’re ugly – I can lose weight!
-----
How can I say we got freedom when we tied the chain with glass on the public water cooler? We just got the separate piece of land not freedom.
-----
Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who cannot be handled by his parents anymore.
-----
Funny status for Facebook that will get likes
Time to train for my favorite winter sport. Extreme Hibernation…
-----
I try to find the good in every situation. Wait. That was a typo. I meant “food.” I try to find the food in every situation.
-----
Teacher -“Where is the CAPITAL of our COUNTRY???” Student -“in Swiss Banks” lolls.
-----
My week is basically …Monday–>Monday#2–>Monday#3–>Monday#4–>Friday–>Saturday–>pre-Monday.
-----
Super funny quotes for Facebook
At last got to know how to lose weight in 10 days: Just turn your head right then left and repeat whenever offered any food :) :)
-----
Typing…
-----
My heart is stolen…can I check your bra…….
-----
I Have Good News And Bad News To Tell You. The Bad News? I Have No Good News. And The Good News? I Have No Bad News.
-----
Extreme funny status updates that get attention
Open Books, Not Legs. Blow Minds, Not Guys!
-----
A man asks a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that beautiful girl, which machine I can use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”!
-----
Life is Short – Chat Fast!
-----
Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook!
-----
Funny and clever quotes and sayings for Facebook
Save water, drink beer!
-----
Girls, if he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs. Send him to KFC.
-----
Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status?
-----
When I’m a Pedestrian I Hate cars... When I’m Driving I Hate Pedestrians…
-----
Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.
-----
Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if its wide use three fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep, that’s how you wash a cup.
-----
Funny status for Facebook that everyone will like
I’m Jealous of My Parents… I’ll Never Have a Kid as Cool as Theirs!
-----
Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.
-----
People call me mike... You can call me tonight... :p
-----
Checking your symptoms on Google and accepting that fact that you’re going to die.
-----
We are WTF generation …. WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook :D
-----
